So I Finally Learned Chess. It Went Exactly as You’d Expect.

I’ve always loved strategy games—Spades, Rook, Othello, Risk, Battleship. Give me rules, probabilities, and the chance to outsmart someone, and I’m in. So it’s honestly a little embarrassing that I made it this far in life without learning the flagship strategy game: chess.

Naturally, it landed on my “50 Things” list, because nothing motivates self-improvement quite like writing it down and publicly announcing you’re doing it.

Enter my friend Austin—equal parts patient teacher and competitive spirit—who volunteered to guide me into the world of rooks, bishops, and regrettable moves. On a cold winter afternoon, November 10, 2024, we grabbed a table at Thinking Man Tavern, ordered a couple of beers, and spread out his chessboard like two people who definitely knew what we were doing.

Austin even made me a cheat sheet. A literal printed guide to the pieces, their moves, and the general theme of “try not to embarrass yourself.” Very thoughtful.

He gave me a quick tutorial, and I confidently absorbed the basics—by which I mean I nodded a lot while trying to remember whether the bishop was the diagonal one or the one that looks like it’s wearing a tiny hat. Then we started playing.

Here’s what I learned very quickly: chess is not mastered in one afternoon—no matter how good the beers or the company. I absorbed the basics, sure, but it was clear this is a game that requires hours (maybe years?) of practice to really understand what’s happening beyond “oh no, why did I do that?”

Austin recommended a chess app so I can practice without needing an actual partner or physical board—convenient, given that my current skill level doesn’t exactly make me a sought-after opponent.

So now the goal is to keep practicing. Because while I have officially “learned chess,” I have absolutely not learned chess.